Kids repeat what you say. Often in public to people who wouldn't understand the context
Kids often look a bit like you and a bit like their mum/dad. Then they pull a face/expression and you just see yourself/relative/your own parents.
Parents tend not to be perfect. Kids tend to grow up and try and improve on what their parents did and often end up repeating a lot of what their parents did.
Parents tend to drive their kids crazy but kids tend to be attracted to someone who has some similarities to their parents.
What happens when parents aren't there for their kids?
What happens when parents haven't dealt with their own issues?
What happens when the kids have to work it out for themselves?
What happens when parents feel guilty about doing the right thing?
What happens when parents feel guilty about doing the wrong thing, but don't change what they are doing?
Kids are very resilient but ...
Parents have a huge opportunity so ...
Kids only learn manners, how to say sorry, and how to share if parents encourage and model using manners, saying sorry, and sharing.
There is only one perfect parent. God teaches us to ask for help, ask for forgiveness, and share what we've got. The rest of us are just doing the best we can, with the time that we have, so that our kids will grow up to be happy.
Every child is a blessing from God - especially mine!
Cheers
Macca
Saturday 17 September 2011
Sunday 4 September 2011
So you're new to church part 5... but by this stage you've been a bunch of times
Last stage of integrating a new person into a church
Couple of things to start off with...
First of all I'm not going to say that there is one perfect and get's 'em every single time kind of way to encourage new people to put down roots in a church. People are all different and churches are all different so there is going to be something for everyone. I'm just hoping that whoever is reading this blog realises/understands/agrees with me that it's not as simple as putting on a really good service, or making sure that we give you a name badge and adding you to the mailing list and database. It's a process that needs to capture the hearts and minds of everyone, not just the new people. It is also something that God is in control of, and you could have the best system and people might still leave the church after trying a couple of Sundays, and you could have the worst systems and people might stay...
second of all, it's really important everyone in a church is on board with this. Everyone does play a role - not just the two people who weren't at the meeting and got put on welcoming for a month of Sundays. It's also not up to the priest to be the one to attract and retain. The whole church family can play a positive or negative role. They just need to be empowered to do so...
The last part of welcoming new people to church is empowering them. This goes beyond giving them a job and a little responsibility. The empowerment of people is about giving them a sense that they can contribute to the church, not because I think we need to brainwash people or delude people but because the church needs everybody to contribute. Do I need to give you a bible reference to being one body and many parts? Do I need to make reference to the fact that churches are made of people not of bricks.
A small town priest can probably do the services, visit a few sick people, and do the occasional baptism/funeral/wedding. I'm pretty sure that the church in a small town could exist without the members of the church actually doing anything to contribute to the church. Churches in cities could also survive that way as long as the congregation size was kept small... what keeps them small? A small town mentality...? Is that why I think we should empower people? So that they make the church a better place? No.
It's about the person, not about the church.
I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but our society likes to tell people that they are worthless, so that they will buy something that will make them worth something, which doesn't, so they keep on buying stuff. The fact is that very few people are actually as incapable as they are made to feel. I see it all the time at school, kids believing that they are only capable of a C/pass. Or that they because they are not the sporty cool kid, then there is no hope for them.
We need to empower people to achieve what they are capable of ... for God.
We cannot have people just sitting in pews, because all humans are made in God's image. Humans can do amazing things. If they just sit in pews, for just one hour per week then it's like having a bunch of batteries sitting in the recharger and never putting them into the toy/camera/clock. It's like paying for a solar panel and then not connecting it to your power box. More importantly, each of those humans has been purpose built by God for a reason. They have gifts and they have experiences that God has given them for a reason... and that purpose is for God's kingdom.
Empowering is abut encouraging people to do what God wants them to do in ministry. If they've been trained, equiped and have had enough experience then they should be looking for a niche, a problem, a need and working out a solution so they aren't doing all that training for nothing. It's then up to the person or people in charge to say "Go for it!" ... obviously moulding and shaping the outcome so that it builds the church rather than leads to problems. Making sure that there are proper checks and balances is important. Making sure the person doesn't bite off more than the and end up burning out is also important.
The thing is that God wants us all to be in this. It's not as if he sent his son to die for us so that could just sit there and be grateful for one hour a week.
Now the question is, if you got this far through my extremely long blog - BTW deliberately long - have you been empowered by your church? Are you encouraged to be a part of the building process, or are you just pew warming? Are you given all the training you need to take on something in the church which makes a difference to the lives?
Am I saying that you need to go and start taking over the church? No. This needs to be done under the authority of whoever is in charge of your church - no matter how terrible they might be.
So, if you are new to a church, go and get empowered. If you are not new but have been hanging out there for a while, find someone who needs to be trained, equipped and empowered.
So there you go. You want people to come to your church and stay in your church for all the right reasons. You want them to use their God given gifts and talents, feel appreciated and make something of their time in the church.
No church is perfect, but every single church, even the one's that drive you crazy, belong to God. We owe it to God make sure we don't drive people away. I don't claim to be the absolute expert on this subject, but I hope that wherever you are reading this you have been able to take something away from it and that people in your church will benefit.
Cheers
Macca
Couple of things to start off with...
First of all I'm not going to say that there is one perfect and get's 'em every single time kind of way to encourage new people to put down roots in a church. People are all different and churches are all different so there is going to be something for everyone. I'm just hoping that whoever is reading this blog realises/understands/agrees with me that it's not as simple as putting on a really good service, or making sure that we give you a name badge and adding you to the mailing list and database. It's a process that needs to capture the hearts and minds of everyone, not just the new people. It is also something that God is in control of, and you could have the best system and people might still leave the church after trying a couple of Sundays, and you could have the worst systems and people might stay...
second of all, it's really important everyone in a church is on board with this. Everyone does play a role - not just the two people who weren't at the meeting and got put on welcoming for a month of Sundays. It's also not up to the priest to be the one to attract and retain. The whole church family can play a positive or negative role. They just need to be empowered to do so...
The last part of welcoming new people to church is empowering them. This goes beyond giving them a job and a little responsibility. The empowerment of people is about giving them a sense that they can contribute to the church, not because I think we need to brainwash people or delude people but because the church needs everybody to contribute. Do I need to give you a bible reference to being one body and many parts? Do I need to make reference to the fact that churches are made of people not of bricks.
A small town priest can probably do the services, visit a few sick people, and do the occasional baptism/funeral/wedding. I'm pretty sure that the church in a small town could exist without the members of the church actually doing anything to contribute to the church. Churches in cities could also survive that way as long as the congregation size was kept small... what keeps them small? A small town mentality...? Is that why I think we should empower people? So that they make the church a better place? No.
It's about the person, not about the church.
I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but our society likes to tell people that they are worthless, so that they will buy something that will make them worth something, which doesn't, so they keep on buying stuff. The fact is that very few people are actually as incapable as they are made to feel. I see it all the time at school, kids believing that they are only capable of a C/pass. Or that they because they are not the sporty cool kid, then there is no hope for them.
We need to empower people to achieve what they are capable of ... for God.
We cannot have people just sitting in pews, because all humans are made in God's image. Humans can do amazing things. If they just sit in pews, for just one hour per week then it's like having a bunch of batteries sitting in the recharger and never putting them into the toy/camera/clock. It's like paying for a solar panel and then not connecting it to your power box. More importantly, each of those humans has been purpose built by God for a reason. They have gifts and they have experiences that God has given them for a reason... and that purpose is for God's kingdom.
Empowering is abut encouraging people to do what God wants them to do in ministry. If they've been trained, equiped and have had enough experience then they should be looking for a niche, a problem, a need and working out a solution so they aren't doing all that training for nothing. It's then up to the person or people in charge to say "Go for it!" ... obviously moulding and shaping the outcome so that it builds the church rather than leads to problems. Making sure that there are proper checks and balances is important. Making sure the person doesn't bite off more than the and end up burning out is also important.
The thing is that God wants us all to be in this. It's not as if he sent his son to die for us so that could just sit there and be grateful for one hour a week.
Now the question is, if you got this far through my extremely long blog - BTW deliberately long - have you been empowered by your church? Are you encouraged to be a part of the building process, or are you just pew warming? Are you given all the training you need to take on something in the church which makes a difference to the lives?
Am I saying that you need to go and start taking over the church? No. This needs to be done under the authority of whoever is in charge of your church - no matter how terrible they might be.
So, if you are new to a church, go and get empowered. If you are not new but have been hanging out there for a while, find someone who needs to be trained, equipped and empowered.
So there you go. You want people to come to your church and stay in your church for all the right reasons. You want them to use their God given gifts and talents, feel appreciated and make something of their time in the church.
No church is perfect, but every single church, even the one's that drive you crazy, belong to God. We owe it to God make sure we don't drive people away. I don't claim to be the absolute expert on this subject, but I hope that wherever you are reading this you have been able to take something away from it and that people in your church will benefit.
Cheers
Macca
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